Day 18 - Will Someone Please Tell...

(rants from a temporary handicap - at my temporarily slowed pace, I've noticed a few things)

Will someone please tell..

Comedy Central that no one wants to see Larry the Cable Guy Roasted?
-- that Carlos Mencia is not funny?
-- that Mad TV really needs to be taken off the air?


Ultimate Frisbee players that no one gives a shit about their sport?
-- that no one cares you are throwing a frisbee around in the quad while everyone is trying to walk to class and that you are so skilled enough you never hit anyone?


Self-conscious girls that is called being polite when you hold a door open for someone with crutches? So take a second and don't act like you didn't see me.


Quiznos that it doesn't take 45minutes to deliver everything.


My scuba instructor that I didn't break my leg on purpose to sabotage the Spring Break trip.


My teachers (except for one) that it would be nice if you could collect my test for me so I don't have to crutch all the way down the stairs to hand you my f*cking paper and then crutch all the way back the f*ck up, when you could've just grabbed it from me and saved everyone else in the room a 5 minute distraction. And then you have the balls to wonder why the last few questions were all wrong.


Fake concerned people who ask what happened to me a week or two later that I broke my fibula. Yes it is the little bone, yes I can bear weight soon, no you are not an expert on broken bones and any advice you give me will be taken with a grain of sh*t. Yes it does suck, thank you for your kind words. Yes my Spring Break plans got re-arranged. Yes, I know. It comes off in 8 weeks, now leave me alone unless you have another reason to talk to me.


Shy girls who have crush on me and needed a way to start the conversation with me, that your welcome. Only you can ask what happened to my leg. And to that girl with the really cute laugh that almost makes me want to chuckle when I hear it from across class every day, I'm glad you took advantage of the situation, see you Monday.


Everyone else, I love you. Keep being you because so far you haven't done anything to piss me off.


PS - To everyone who will be showing up to my dear friends birthday this weekend at my house, don't touch the f*cking stereo- no one cares about what you want to hear, you are not a f*cking DJ, and it is just plain rude. Also it will not be funny to anyone (especially the three handicap people in attendance) if you rearrange the handicap seating or sit in our handicap area, so don't do that. Have some f*cking respect and act like a half-way decent human being and maybe the opposite sex will find you somewhat attractive (guys I am sorry, I will be there though, good luck).

Remember, as they say in Albania, "every guest hates the others, and the host hates them all."


Coach JR, Out.